Never Speak of this again
by CaptainOfAsgard
Summary: Everyone is afraid of something. What is Hidan afraid of? Well No one knows! Lets find out! (Oneshot) Rated T for Hidan's mouth!


**A/N: Ok Hidan is one of my favorite characters in Naruto and I was at the dentist and I just thought about this randomly. So yep new story.**

Even evil ninjas need to go to the dentist, so that's why Akatsuki has their own personal dentist. Everyone goes when needed and today was Hidan's turn.

"No fucking way am I going, I would rather fucking die before I go there!" Hidan shouted, waking up Deidra.

"What's the problem?" Deidra questioned rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Hidan is being a child and won't go the dentist." Itachi stated putting his hands on his hips.

"Because there is no fucking point when you can just brush your freaking teeth." Hidan crossed his arms and put his nose in the air. "I'm not going."

Itachi sighed and looked over to Deidra, having a silent conversation.

"What? What the hell are you doing? I am not moving one fucking step from this fucking spot! So don't even fucking try!"

Itachi sighed looking over to Deidra. Deidra sighed and nodded his head.

"Come on Hidan it's just the dentist. Why won't you go?" Deidra questioned, moving closer to Hidan to tie him up.

"Oh no I know what you're doing and no fucking way I am going, later Bitches!" Hidan yelled Sprinting down the hall.

"Hidan come back!" Itachi yelled sprinting down the hall after him. Itachi followed the hall but soon lost track of him. Itachi slowed down, Deidra behind him when they saw Kakuzu.

"Kakuzu have you seen Hidan." Itachi asked, panting for breath.

"Why what happened?"

"He won't go to the dentist." Deidra explained, fixing his hair.

"Of course, Hidan has a terrible fear of the dentist." Kakuzu explained.

"No shit Sherlock!" Deidra yelled.

"Why does he hate the dentist?" Itachi asked moving his hair away from his face.

"Well when he was little he had a cavity so when the dentist was drilling on his tooth his hand slipped and he drilled into his gum, and some other teeth. He has a couple of false teeth to prove it and some scarring." Kakuzu explained. Itachi and Deidra winced at the thought.

"So how do you know this?" Deidra asked, crossing his arms in question.

"He talks in his sleep, haven't you noticed?"

"Um no." They both said.

"Oh well, come on I'll help you find him. Just wait a moment, RED ROBIN!"

"Yum!" Hidan said faintly from behind them. They all turned around to see a bulk in the curtain. "Damn you Kakuzu and you told you my secret!" Hidan wailed, fake anime tears trailing behind him. They stood there in shock for a few seconds before they ran after him.

"Wait Hidan just calm down!" Kakuzu yelled taking the lead.

"No I will not calm the fuck down Kakuzu; you told them my fucking secret!"

"Wait how did we miss you in the curtain?" Itachi asked stopping behind Kakuzu.

"I'm a master of disguise." Hidan stated, shrugging his shoulders as if he hid behind curtains every day.

"Wait hold on when did we get curtains?" Deidra asked stopping next to Itachi.

"I bought them to hide behind dumbasses." Hidan said. "Duh!" He rolled his eyes at this.

"Yes of course how could we not know that." Itachi said dully, rolling his eyes.

"I know how didn't know that." Hidan said enthusiastically.

"Wait you spent money on the curtains? No I had that money saved for my carrots! I need my carrots!" Kakuzu wailed.

"Ok Hidan you need to face the dentist." Deidra said inching toward him.

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't wanna."

"Hidan!"

"Deidra!"

"Just face the bloody dentist!" Itachi yelled, cutting off any further argument.

"Nope." Hidan said planting his feet in the ground.

"For the love of God!" Deidra said before punching Hidan in the face. Hidan stood there for a few seconds before he grabbed his throat he made choking noises before pointing to his throat, and trying to tell them to punch his stomach.

"He's choking on his fake teeth." Kakuzu stated standing beside Itachi.

"How the hell did you get there?" Itachi yelled, holding his hand to his heart.

"I walked."

"Well don't sneak up on me like that!" Itachi yelled, Itachi and Kakuzu kept arguing while Deidra frantically skittered around a now blue in the face Hidan, not sure what to do.

"GUYS HELP ME, HE'S CHOKING!" Deidra yelled standing with his hand son his hips, a pout in his face. Hidan finally collapsed his face blue. Itachi and Kakuzu finally turned.

"OH MY GOD! NO! HIDAN! HE WAS SO YOUNG!" Itachi screeched laying across Hidan's chest. Itachi and Kakuzu were sobbing together in a ball while Deidra frantically tried to get him to breath. Just then Kisame walked by and starred at them for a few moments then slowly walked back down the hall.

Deidra finally got the tooth out and Hidan popped up gasping for breath.

"HIDAN YOUR ALIVE!" Kakuzu and Hidan shouted throwing themselves on top of him.

"Can't breathe!" He choked, his hand reaching up into the air for help. Deidra finally took mercy on him and pulled him out of the pile.

"Thanks Deidra, because you saved me I am going to overlook that you were the one that almost caused my death so thanks, I guess. Now let's never speak of this again?"

"Agreed!" Deidra said. "Also we won't make you go to the dentist anymore. If this Is what it's going to be like every time."


End file.
